Family vacation with my husband was so much fun. I got to meet my mom and dad and sisters. It was so lovely.
Tonight I am all by myself. My husband is working at his part-time job. I am watching One Tree Hill on TV (and Gossip Girl earlier!!). I love the shows. Watching One Tree Hill always makes me want to live in a comfy small town with my husband and (future) kids.
Speaking of kids, my husband and I have been trying for awhile. It has been almost 6 months and I am not pregnant yet. I was hoping I’d get pregnant and then 9 months would pass and I’d quit my job and be a stay at home mom; maybe I’d work from home.
I pray everyday so that I will get pregnant soon. My husband wants a baby. I know God will grant us our wish. I just need to be patient.
I had lunch with a friend of mine today and we were talking and all of the sudden she said, well you know I am expecting. My first reaction was, wow great. I was happy for her really. Then I started thinking in my head what I am going to make/sew for her baby.
Then when I came back to my work desk, I started thinking in my head… everyone is pregnant but me.
I emailed my friend and told her that I’ll be hosting her baby shower. So this year, so far, I will be hosting 2 baby showers. I am quite excited for both friends to be honest. They are good friends of mine and I will be delighted to host the baby showers.
As for me, I guess I’ll keep on waiting for the stork to come visit us.
I have almost 2 1/2 more hours to go until the new year. It is time to make changes in my life. Good changes that will bring more lucks, joy, happiness, fortunes, true friendship, health, and love. I am done with 2008. The new year will be so joyful. I am going to be a happier person in so many ways.
In January, I will be starting sewing classes. It is 6 weeks long and it costs $85 for the entire length of class. The class will start on January 15 I think. I will be done by the end of February. Why am I taking this class? Well, let me tell you something. I have been wanting to learn how to sew. I want to make pretty things for babies and for women who like to wear pretty things. I want to make baby blankies, diaper bags, changing pad, baby bags, or aprons for hot all the mamas out there. I want to make them and I want to sell them online. As of right now, I am looking at etsy.com as a place to sell them. I do have my own website, which sadly, I hardly use actually. I might get to use that soon enough. So. Now you know why I am taking sewing classes. I want to learn a new skill each year. In 2008, I learned cake decorating skill that I enjoyed learning.
Financially, I would like to earn more money. I want to do what I love. I want to find my passion. I really, really need to figure out what it is that I want to do. My plan is to open my own business. As of right now, I am not 100% so sure what it is going to be yet. In a fairy-tale-ending world, I would open a baby boutique. Something that is affordable for new mothers. I will carry handmade items. I want to sell pretty things that mothers and babies will adore.
Year 2009 is also the year my husband and I would like to have our first baby. I want a baby. My husband wants a baby. We want a baby. I am 100% sure we are ready emotionally. I know my husband will be a good dad.
I have so much I want to accomplish in 2009. I want to get a new house in 2009. I really want to. I want something a bit bigger for our pets and our future family!!!!!
Here’s a toast to a Happier New Year!!!!!!!!!!!
My husband and I bought a gently used baby bassinet today. We bought it for $20. It’s white with ruffles around it. Very cute. I am thinking we can put our future baby in it for the first few months until he/she outgrows it then we’ll get a used crib. We also stopped by at Marshall’s to get some baby toys. I bought 2 baby items that cost me about $20. Expensive!!! Today I spent a total of $40 for our future baby.
I have been looking at craigslist a lot for cheap baby stuff. I learned that baby does not use stuff for that long because they wil outgrow the things we buy for them in a snap. So I am going to get most things second hand if possible. Of course, I can’t just get everything used. I am sure there will be things that I will need to get new. I guess I can always put those on the registry someday.
My husband has to work evening tomorrow at his part-time job. I will be at home by myself again I guess. I am going to try to clean up and do some works around the house. And cook for the next week.
I am on call this weekend so it’s not going to be fun but I am hoping it will be an easy weekend for me.
Tonight I asked my husband again if he is sure about having a baby next year. He said yes. So I guess we will be having a baby next year!! I am excited. I cannot wait the day the doctor tells me that I am pregnant. I will be the happiest woman in the world. I love my husband so much and I cannot wait to start a family with him. We have been married for almost 5 years and I think this is a good time for us to have a baby. I am hoping to have another one in 2011. I’d like to have 3 but we’ll see. I’ll be happy with one. We’ll see how we handle one baby first. I am so excited. I think about it everyday. I want to be a good mother. Our baby will bring my husband and me lots of luck, happiness, joy, fortune, and good life. This is why I cannot wait for his arrival.
I pray to the Blessed Mother and Jesus to bless us with a wonderful baby. I pray so that we will conceive soon. I pray so that we have a beautiful, healthy, and happy pregnancy. I want to be happy. I want to enjoy my life. I want to share what I have in life with our baby. I cannot wait!!!
Please pray so that God will bless us with pregnancy soon. Thank you.
I really, really, really need some time to think about what I want to do with my life. Clearly, I have been complaining about my work too much and how much I hate it. Granted, I feel very lucky to even have a job right now in this economy but what good is a job if you are miserable at work every day. I am just dont know what to do right now. I would like to quit but cannot afford to do it. I would like to stay but I am so miserable at work everyday and every minute. I am tired of complaining everyday. And I hate that I cannot quit. Everyday all I do is dreading about coming to work. It is not good. I know that. My husband has been listening to my complains and he does not know what to do either.
I have been praying to God and asking for an answer. A sign. Something to tell. Something. Something at all. I haven’t gotten any signs from God yet. I go to church every Sunday and Monday. I pray the novenas. I say many, many prayers. No signs yet. I don’t know what else to do. I have opened my mind, my eyes, my ears, my heart, and my soul for God to tell me.
I simply don’t know what to do.
I am confused. I feel like I am blind and deaf and I have to cross the busy street. I want to scream to the world. Asking for direction. Asking for guidance. I don’t know what to do. I really don’t. I want to do something with my life.
I hate my job. Yes, this is the new position at work that I just started almost 4 months ago. My boss is clueless of what he is doing. He does not like 2 of the workers in our group and he mentioned it to me. He does not get along with one of the guys. It’s just weird. I don’t like it. Then, I have a mean trainer. She is so mean. The ironic thing is, I donated my 8-hour vacation time to her when she lost her mom in February. When she asked me to do things for her, she wouldn’t want to show me how to do it. When I make mistakes, she gets really mad. Oh and she is pregnant too now. So she wants everyone to care for her. I don’t really care that much though. She is so mean. I hope her kid will not be as mean as her.
Ok. Here I am complaining again. I don’t want to complain. I want to do something for myself. I want to have the gut. The gut to quit my job. I want to just do it. I want to. I have been wanting to do it. I wish I could do it. I wish I could just tell my boss that I am quiting. I wish God would let me win the lotto.
It’s really painful to go to work everyday. Dreading every minute of it. I hate it so much. I can’t stand working there. Everyday is a misery.
I don’t want to go back there on Monday. I want to quit my job. I really do.
But if I quit, I wouldn’t get my bonus in March next year. I would lose the health insurance. I would lose my salary. We have savings but I wonder how long that is going to last. I hate my job so much. And I don’t know why every position I get is like this. I don’t know why the people that I work with are so mean. I don’t know why.
I am just feeling frustrated right now. I wish I had my family here. My parents would have helped me in any way they can. I wish my husband was making way more money.
I hate my job. I don’t like my boss. I don’t feel comfortable working where I am right now. My job sucks. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it so much I can throw up right now just thinking about it.
Often time, I get so streesed out at work but I wouldn’t tell anyone. I’d spend my lunch hour sitting at the cafetaria in my building to read the Bible. And that usually calms me down. And I get really happy when I am home. But then the night comes, and before I go to bed I’d pray so that Jesus would help me to get through the next day. Then I get sad and I get all depressed thinking about coming to work the next day. I never want to think about it but I do all the time. When the morning comes, I get so mad thinking about coming to work. I am dreading it every single day. Often I ask myself, why am I doing this to myself? But I can’t find the asnwer yet.
I don’t want to come back there on Monday but I don’t know how. I don’t know how I can afford to just quit this job? I really don’t want to go back there on Monday. I really don’t. I need a miracle to happen. Only a miracle can stop me from coming to work on Monday. But how? how? how? how?
I have been saying countless novenas and been praying many many many prayers……………. I don’t want to give up. I know a miracle will happen. I want to believe it. I really do. I don’t want to go back to work on Monday. I really don’t. Please Jesus, do not let me go back to work on Monday. I will do whatever to not have to come back to work on Monday. Please please please. I don’t want to. I want to do something else. I want to do something else.
The holidays are coming. If I quit, we wouldn’t have money for the holidays. If I quit, we would be without health insurance. If I quit, I don’t know how we can afford to continue living. What am I going to do?????? Of course I am going to find another job but I want to do something I enjoy. Something I really want to do.
I want a sign. For God to tell me what to do. To give me guidance of what I need to be doing with my life. I am tired of going around trying every job there is out there. I want to do what I enjoy doing. I don’t want to waste my life.
Lots have been happening.
My internet connection was having a problem for a while. Not sure why but it seems to work ok now. Keep fingers crossed.
Husband’s grandma had a surgery on Monday to remove her colon tumor. Surgery went well and she is coming home today.
I have been volunteering a lot. I helped my animal rescue group transporting some stray cats to be spayed/neutered and I also helped this one elderly lady, Elizabeth, with her dog, Rounder. She needed someone to take her to the vet so I volunteered to do that. I made the appointment and I drove her there (with her dog). Her dog Rounder has a tumor. She is 15 years old. Elizabeth isn’t sure if she wants to put Rounder through surgery. Elizabeth is a very nice petite old lady. She lives in an apartment in my neighborhood by herself. She does not have children. I am not sure how old she is but she looks old. We had a lunch at McDonald’s right after vet visit and she told me that she used to be a model when she was younger. This lady knows style. She saw my handbag and she said to me, I like your handbag–Michael Kors handbag. I said well, I bought this a while bag not sure if they still have it but I will see if I can find something similar. That afternoon, I went to Marshall’s and I found her an Ettiene Agner bag for $24.99. It was a similar looking bag. Very, very similar. I was happy to find it. I went home and put it in a pretty gift bag and put some pink tissues in it. The next morning, I called Elizabeth and I told her I was coming to drop off something. I stopped by and I gave her the gift. She was SOOOOO happy!!!!!!!! I also brought Rounder some treats (I bought my dogs way too many treats). It felt good making someone else happy. When I went there, she asked me a favor. She needed to get Rounder some dog foods next week. She showed me the one she is using. Later that evening, I was browsing through the local grocery shopping weekly ad and I saw that they’re having sale on the dog food Elizabeth needs. So this morning I went ahead and bought 2 big bags. I also picked up 2 bags of cat litter for Elizabeth’s cats.
Well. That’s about it with me. Tomorrow I am going to go to the Catholic church and ask about volunteer opportunity with their Kitchen Soup.
I told Elizabeth I love to volunteer and if I could do it for living I would do it. She looked at me and said: you are such a joy.
That alone was worth every volunteering I have done in my life.
I told God, if he would trust me with winning a lottery jackpot, I’d quit my job so I can help other people. I’d work part time as a teacher–teaching kids to be good and kind to others. I’d do so many volunteer works my whole life. That’s my promise to God.
Having saving is the best feeling in the world.
As of today, I have $11,000 in my saving accounts. Part of it from my $10,000 bonus and part of it from the money that my mom sent ($3000 –> this is actually to pay for the kitchen renovation this year).
My FICO score as of today is 675. Not the best but I have gotten worse score before in my younger years.
I paid of my Express account ($102) and AC ($215). I have $316 left to pay in my Capital One, $2981.92 in my Washington Mutual, and $9094.48 in my Chase.
My goal is to pay off Capital one by April 12th. I have $500 budgeted that day for debt repayments. So a big chunk would go to Capital One. Then the rest will be split between Washington Mutual and Chase.
Utility bill was $164 for this month. Not bad. Down from $220 last month. I also paid the mortgage ($1300) and car ($400).
I now have savings. Joy.
