One Lucky Girl

money matters…

My debts as of July 18:

Chase $4109+ 2400 = 6509

Discover $3000

TOTAL $9509

I am so screwed. Chase sucks. I am going to pay the debt with $2400 first and then I should get some money from my mom (repayment from the money I loaned her) totaling to $5000. I am hoping so much she is going to pay me back. That would be a big substantial help.  That would reduce my debt to below $5000. And that would make it easier for me to pay off.

At the same time, we are trying to save money as well. I am just so bummed right now. Our saving is up to $4300 now. In 2 more weeks, that saving is going to go up to $5000 or $5300. Then in a month should be either $5750 or $6000. We do have a lot to sacrifice though, I admit. I have to start cooking more often. I have to prepare dinners at home.

Saving money is not easy. I hate that mom is borrowing money for me while she is paying my sister $400 every month so she could pay rent in her nicer apartment, while she is not working. That doesn’t make any sense. She and her husband are building a condo somewhere and they are waiting on it to be built and in the meantime they live on one income. But they don’t have enough money to rent a bigger apartment so she asks my mom for more money each month. So my mom gives her money each month. I don’t get it. I thought once you are married, you are supposed to be on your own???? I want to say something but we’re thousand miles away. And my mom is not going to listen because apparently she likes it when someone asks her for money. It gives her more power and control over that person. So, a leech and a blood donor. What a combo.

I love my family so much except the fact that everyone is asking my mom for money. Everyone. Except me.  And when my mom calls me, she always says, I am sorry I can’t pay the money I loaned from you yet but I promise I will pay soon. Then we would talk about something else and before she hungs up, she says, if you need money let me know. Ummm, yeah how about you just return the $5000. That would be nice. Then I wouldn’t in debt so much.

I am thinking my family thinks I live in a mansion with nice cars parked outside and a swimming pool in the back. Have you seen my house? Crappy little fixer upper we bought 4 years ago and we haven’t even fixed the kitchen or bathroom yet. We have no kitchen. It’s just a makeshift kitchen that we make so we can cook at least. I have cooking in that stupid little corner in the back of the house. I hate it. In fact, I wish so much we had never bought this crappy house and had waited until now to buy a house. We could have bought a gigantic mansion for the money we paid for this crappy house. But I am sure God has a different plans for us. I guess life is not always about daisies and lilies.

I want more money. I hate my job. I have not enough savings. And too much in debts. My life sucks.


all i want is to be happy

Today at work was actually went fine. It was an easy day at work today. Don’t get me wrong I still dont like my job. I work with the most dull and dry people ever. They don’t care about you as a person. To them, you are just another worker. Anyways.

I finished making 4 coin purses tonight. I am about to make more. I can probably do another 4 easy. Tomorrow, I can list them. And I want to make pencil pouches tomorrow. If I can make at least 6 per evening, that would be awesome. I can list everyday. And I can start selling good again.

Ugghh. Why don’t I know what I want to do with my life? Why can’t I figure it out? Ok yes I know I am lacking money right now. But does that have to limit my choices? Maybe.

I want to be somebody. I want to be what I want to be. I want to feel accomplished. I know I can do it. I want to do something important in my life. I want to make money. I don’t need to make millions. I just want to make enough for my husband and me and the baby-someday. I want to be happy. I really want to.


to be my own boss (phase 3)

Ok. I am a little freaked out to be honest. I am going to start a business soon…. from home–selling things online. I was so pumped out yesterday and now I am having all sort of bad dreams about the business that has not yet started. Am I too overreacted? Am I just nervous? Is this normal?

I have so much expectation with my new venture. I cannot fail on this project. I have to succeed. I cannot accept failure anymore. I have so much hopes on this new venture.

Maybe I am pressuring myself too much but this new venture is going to cost me some money so it better works.

I was feeling depressed today almost all day. I was thinking about work and all of the sudden my mood changed from happy to depressing. I don’t think I can last any longer in my work. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it so much. I just don’t know how to handle it right now. I don’t know how we can afford me quiting the job. I can sell my car and that will eliminate one car payment. Then we can get rid of stuff from the storage. I have to pick up sewing again soon. I cannot wait any longer.

I can start selling my handmade items on Etsy, my personal website, and also at the arts market.

My sewing machine is not working great right now. I am so mad. Now I am looking into purchasing another one. A better quality one. Something that can handle many sewing hours.

Ok I am sleepy and tired. Better go to sleep. Tomorrow is Sunday. I am going to church again. I went today and it was so weird because the message from today’s mass was that if you believe in God, and if you ask anything, it will be done. I don’t know why I cried all of the sudden after hearing the message. I knew God was talking to me. I knew He was sending me an assurance that everything is going to be ok. I do have faith in God. I have been praying everynight for Him to grant me a way so I can financially afford to quit my job. Something’s got to happen. Something’s got to work out somehow. I don’t know what it is but things got to be better. I have to find ways to make myself happy. I am going to start looking for another job. Keep my fingers crossed. Perhaps I can do part-time job and I can use the other half to run my business from home.

God, please hear my prayers. Help me please. Help.


to be my own boss (phase 2)

I am officially a business owner today. Yay.

I have my business license and sales tax ID number. I am on my way to entrepreneurship. I am nervous and excited at the same time. I have to believe in myself. I have to. This is my one way ticket to entrepreneurship. This is the only way out from my boring job. I have to make it work. I have to. I can’t fail. I cannot afford to fail. I have to make it work. I have to get it off the ground. I have to.

I have to keep on telling myself all these things to keep myself going. To keep myself from going under. To keep myself motivated. I want to succeed. I want to. I cannot fail. I cannot. I just cannot.

I can’t doutbt myself. I have to do this. I have to. I have to be able to support myself. I have to.

I’ll keep on working on my small business. I’ll keep on trying. I’ll make it a big success.


to be my own boss (phase 1)

My entrepreneurship drive is kicking in so bad today. All day at work I was daydreaming about coming home and cutting fabrics (to sew). And then when I got home, I hurriedly got on my laptop to check Etsy. I love reading its ‘quit your day job” stories. So inspiring.

So my goal right now is to be able to support myself selling my crafts and to open a fabric shop from home. My plan, as of right now–fingers crossed, is to stay at work until the baby is born. Baby should be born, if all goes well, in early January 2010. I would like to get a 3-month maternity leave and I do not plan on coming back to work after that. I should get my bonus in March of 2010. That should give me some cushion for some months. Also, I figured, if I really work hard on it, I am pretty sure my business will take off easily. I have lots of ideas. There is an art market that I can attend through November 2009. And it’ll start again in April – Nov 2010. Maybe I’ll get lucky and I can sell wholesale to local businesses. Who knows.

So  many opportunities. I cannot wait. The most imprtant thing is, I have about a year to hatch my business so it will take of its ground. In the mean time, I can save as much money for rainy days in the future–which I hope I won’t have.

My goal is to be able to earn at least $2000 (take home) a month selling my crafts and be able to stay at home with my (future) baby.

I am dying to quit my job but I need to really, really be prepared for it. I am determined to make it work and I will do anything in my power to make it a successful business.

It wil be pretty hard for me to earn as much as I earn now working from home but I’ll take a bit of paycut to create a happier life for myself and my family. Not to mention, I am about to have a baby of my own. I want to be there for his/her first walk… first word… first everything.


it is confirmed!!

It is confirmed!!! I am pregnant :)

I had the appointment with the doctor today. I thought my husband was not going with me but to my surprise, he called right before I left my office building. And he went to the doctor’s office with me to hear the confirmation.

The nurse said that I am 4 weeks pregnant. It is still young and early :) My baby is still the size of a pea. How cute. So far I only told 2 good friends at work whom I know will not tell a single soul in my office. I kept their pregnancy secret–didn’t tell anyone.

They estimated my due date to be January 13, 2010. But of course it could be sooner or later. Oh I can’t wait to be so pregnant this Christmastime :)

Well. I am going to have another doctor’s visit in 3 weeks. The next appointment is going to be May 21, 2009 (Thursday) at 2.45PM. Sooooo excited. This is the time when we are going to have the first sonogram :)

I can’t wait to see. I am sure my husband is excited too. He is very happy with the pregnancy news. We have been waiting for months. It amazes me how I still don’t feel like I am prepared at all with this. We tried so hard to save our money and to fix up our house and everything. But things are still out of order. And now I have a plan not to come back to work after the baby is born. I don’t know until how long but I really need to figure something out. I would like to find a work that I can do from home. As for now, we’ll continue to save as much money as possible.

My husband and I don’t know how to break the news to our families yet. Maybe we should wait until we have our next appointment to tell everyone. I can’t wait but at the same time, I think we should wait a bit. I say until I am 2 months pregnant. And then I need to tell my boss about my pregnancy. Like it or not, he’s going to have to accept the news. I am going to break the news to everyone else the same time I break it to my boss. I know a lot of people will be excited for me. A lot of the ladies (and men!) at work have been so anxious waiting for me to get pregnant.

Tonight, I feel happy. I hope God will bless me, my husband, and my pea-size baby with health, happiness, and love from friends and family.

Please keep us in your prayers always :)


today….

This morning was a bad morning. It was just awful at work. I was so miserable. So anyways. I found out if I wanted to switch to another department, they would have to pay me $37k + 15% bonus. I am currently making $65k+20% bonus. I think the best thing for me is to stick it out until the baby is born and I can quit.

In the meantime, I am starting I can gather up any ideas/etc/etc of what I truly want to do for living soon as I quit my job next April. I am looking to quit my job in April 2010.

My first plan is to start my fabric shop business from home. Apparently I can’t afford to rent a space yet–hopefully someday when my business grows. So I am thinking, why not do it from home and I can  just sell them online. I can easily advertise it locally to attract local crafters.

You know. I am so glad I have friends at work who support me wholeheartly. I talked to my 2 good friends today and they made me all better by the afternoon.

Also, I made an appointment to see a doctor tomorrow to confirm my pregnancy. Yay. I am so excited. Too bad my husband wouldn’t be able to be there. But it’s ok. This visit is going to be short. I just want to bring home the good news to my husband and my good friends :)

I need to read the bible tonight before I go to bed. I need some comfort and I usually find it in God’s words.


what should I do?

May 03
1 Comment

I’m so worried.

By now, I think I am pretty sure I am pregnant. I thought i was going to get pregnant sooner. But now it happens and I thought oh crap I don’t know what to do. I am so worried. I don’t want to go back to work after the baby is born but I don’t know how we can afford it.

We bring home $5300 per month (after tax). Day care would cost about $1200 – $1500 per month. So 5300 – 1200 = 4100 left. Minus mortgage ($1300) = 2800. Minus 2 car payments ($630)= 2170. Minus foods+gas ($600)= 1670. Minus pet foods ($100) =1570. Minus CC payments ($500) = 1070.

$5300 – 1070 = $4230 – 2000 (my husband makes)= 2230.

If I keep working, our take-home would look like this: 5000 – 1200 = $4100. My husband brings ini $2000 a month. That means, I would need to make $2100 a month doing work from home if I want to keep the same lifestyle and be able to stay at home with my baby.

$2100.

What do I need to do? I do sewing and I have been selling my crafts to friends. I can do that full time I guess. I can sell online. Also, I am thinking, I can start my fabric store from home. I figure I can start with about $5000 – $7500 dollars. That is a lot. But perhaps I can borrow money from my parents.

Keep my fingers crossed. Please pray for me.


one more thing…

So here is a confession from me. My husband and I have been planning to have a baby for almost a year now. I think we are finally pregnant. Over the last 8 - 9 months we have been buying all sorts of baby items from craigslist–some are new, some are used. I stopped buying for about 6 months ago thinking it’d be a waste if I can never have babies.

So anyways. We are bargain hunters. We like to find deals. Tonight was the first night I searched for baby items again after months of pause. I cannot believe how many people are trying to sell their stuff right now. And people are selling everything and anything. We are looking to buy a changing table, a high chair, and some other stuff maybe. We have bought the crib, stroller, car seat, and almost everything else. We even have bottles. Just need to buy new nipples.

A friend of mine who has kids told me to stock on diapers once I find out I am pregnant. I’ll do that soon as my pregnancy is confirmed.

Also another thing, I do not plan on going back to work at my sucky job after my baby is born. I want to start my own business. I figure I will have a year from today to launch it and I am so ready for it. Wish me luck on this part. I still hate my job. I hate it even more. I work with bunch of selfish bastards who cares nothing but themselves. Makes me sick. Pardon my language. I am not going to sacrifice my sanity and happiness for the sake of money. I’ve got time on my side to make all the money I can make doing things that make me happy.

As for now, I have a new family to build and to care for.


I might be pregnant…

I have been feeling weird lately. My tummy just does not feel good at all. So last night, my husband took me to get pregnancy test at Walgreens. I was going to test myself last night but I thought I’d do it the next day.

So this morning I took the pregnancy test and I got 2 lines, which means I am pregnant–one is lighter than the other.  I told my husband.

Well, we might be pregnant!!!!!!!!

My period is supposed to be next week on Tuesday. So… it is still early. However, we did get the pregnancy test that can be used 5 days sooner.

I am excited. And I hope my husband too. I am praying so that I am positively pregnant. I am going to test myself again this weekend using different pregnancy tests. And if I get all positive results, I will call my doctor to confirm my pregnancy.

I am happy but nervous at the same time. I have so much to think about. We need to save more money. We need to fix the house. We have a fence we need to install. We need to fix the kitchen. We have to buy new washer and dryer. I want to quit my job after the baby is born. All these roll into one. I don’t know how we can afford everything.  I don’t know how we can do everything at the same time…..

I will turn everything to God. God heard my prayers!!! He heard my prayer to get pregnant. After months asking, He finally grants me a pregnancy (keep my fingers crossed). And He knows I have been asking for a way so I can financially afford to quit my job. And I know with all my heart, God will find me a way. I know that. There is no doubt in my heart at all. I have faith in him.

Thank you Jesus. Thank you Virgin Mary.


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