One Lucky Girl
oh how I wish…
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I just wish that my mom would pay back the money I loaned to her soon…… Very, very soon. So I can go ahead and pay off $5000 of my debts.
Today we managed to sell some of the leftover from my old candle-making business. We made $300. Lost money but we really wanted to get rid of them anyways. That money is going to the bank to cover expenses for the next week or so. I don’t plan on buying anything big this week or next week anyways.
Well, tonight I am going to try to sew some stuff to sell online. I am hoping to sell 5 coin purses by the end of the week. Then my goal is to sell about 5 more next week. This weekend I need to finish some orders from coworkers.
My husband is running right now. I just had dinner. I am going to enjoy a little piece of brownie for dessert tonight. Or a mango.
Ok. I am going to get ready for sewing.
money matters…
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My debts as of July 18:
Chase $4109+ 2400 = 6509
Discover $3000
TOTAL $9509
I am so screwed. Chase sucks. I am going to pay the debt with $2400 first and then I should get some money from my mom (repayment from the money I loaned her) totaling to $5000. I am hoping so much she is going to pay me back. That would be a big substantial help. That would reduce my debt to below $5000. And that would make it easier for me to pay off.
At the same time, we are trying to save money as well. I am just so bummed right now. Our saving is up to $4300 now. In 2 more weeks, that saving is going to go up to $5000 or $5300. Then in a month should be either $5750 or $6000. We do have a lot to sacrifice though, I admit. I have to start cooking more often. I have to prepare dinners at home.
Saving money is not easy. I hate that mom is borrowing money for me while she is paying my sister $400 every month so she could pay rent in her nicer apartment, while she is not working. That doesn’t make any sense. She and her husband are building a condo somewhere and they are waiting on it to be built and in the meantime they live on one income. But they don’t have enough money to rent a bigger apartment so she asks my mom for more money each month. So my mom gives her money each month. I don’t get it. I thought once you are married, you are supposed to be on your own???? I want to say something but we’re thousand miles away. And my mom is not going to listen because apparently she likes it when someone asks her for money. It gives her more power and control over that person. So, a leech and a blood donor. What a combo.
I love my family so much except the fact that everyone is asking my mom for money. Everyone. Except me. And when my mom calls me, she always says, I am sorry I can’t pay the money I loaned from you yet but I promise I will pay soon. Then we would talk about something else and before she hungs up, she says, if you need money let me know. Ummm, yeah how about you just return the $5000. That would be nice. Then I wouldn’t in debt so much.
I am thinking my family thinks I live in a mansion with nice cars parked outside and a swimming pool in the back. Have you seen my house? Crappy little fixer upper we bought 4 years ago and we haven’t even fixed the kitchen or bathroom yet. We have no kitchen. It’s just a makeshift kitchen that we make so we can cook at least. I have cooking in that stupid little corner in the back of the house. I hate it. In fact, I wish so much we had never bought this crappy house and had waited until now to buy a house. We could have bought a gigantic mansion for the money we paid for this crappy house. But I am sure God has a different plans for us. I guess life is not always about daisies and lilies.
I want more money. I hate my job. I have not enough savings. And too much in debts. My life sucks.
end of week 9
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Today is the end of week 9 of my pregnancy. I still cannot believe I am pregnant.
This morning I woke up and all I could think about was having waffles for breakfast. So I asked my husband to take the to get one. We drove to IHOP and it was so full. I had to pick up my litte sister, so I told my husband just to take me to Sonic. I had the popcorn chicken and fries. The baby didn’t like it. I ate 2 popcorn chicken pieces and my stomach went gargling.
Then after I took my little sister home, my husband and I went back to IHOP. I got myself a plate of waffles with strawberries topping. Waffles never tasted so good in my life. I felt so satisfied. And the baby was happy.
I am now home. Relaxing. So happy that my baby is made it to 9 weeks 
pregnancy blues
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Oh the joy of being pregnant…
I have been feeling nauseous for hours. I ate something light. It stopped. But soon as I finished eating, I began feeling nauseous again.
I haven’t been feeling active at all. My husband is at the jazz festival right now. By himself. While I am sitting home alone–well, with my 6 dogs.
I feel like eating cookies. Jelly-filled butter cookies. Yum.
We went to the fresh market today. I bought 2 pints of sweet strawberries and 1 pint of peaches. The strawberries were so good and sweet. The peaches are not ripe enough so I have to wait for about 2 – 3 days to eat them, which is fine with me.
I am hungry. Just a bit. I don’t know what I want to eat though. So annoying. Sometimes I know exactly what I want to eat/drink but other times, I have no clue of what I want to eat. I wonder if other pregnant women out there are feeling like this too?
baby is expensive!!
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Ok well apparently I didn’t pay attention to the memo.
I am 7-week pregnant. Last Thursday we went for our formal prenatal visit. We saw the baby and heard its heartbeats. My baby is the size of a lima bean. How cute.
Well, what’s not so cute is the price of baby gadgets and (even) the basics that a baby would need.
Today, my husband dropped me off at Baby Depot (Burlington Coat Factory) while he went shopping to Home Depot. I saw tons of baby stuff and got overwhelmed. A tiny human can’t possibly need all of those junks. Glad I am still in my early pregnancy stage so I will have time to think about what I am going to need to get.
While browsing around the shop, I found some sales on baby bottles. I have heard about Dr.Brown’s baby bottles and I saw several that were on sale for half price. I bought 2 sets of Dr.Brown’s baby bottles. One was Dr.Brown’s Natural Flor newborn feeding set ($9.99 for 3 8-ounce bottles and 2 4-ounce bottles) and the second I bought was Dr.Brown’s Natural Flow Deluxe Wide-neck starter kit ($7.49 1 8-ounce wide-neck bottle and 2 4-ounce wide neck bottles).
I also saw Dr.Brown’s baby gift set for less than $45 and I believe this set comes with a total of 10 or 12 bottles (in 2 or 3 sizes I think).
I read a lot of great reviews on Dr.Brown’s bottles. I figured, baby bottles would be one of several important things I need to have for the baby.
I am actually thinking of getting another of the $10 set I got for a friend of mine who is due to have a baby this August.
When it comes to registry time, I think I am just going to put bunch of visa gift card on my registry. I’ll just buy things when they are on sale. No need to ask people to buy baby clothes when the baby can only wear it once or twice. I’ll put bunch of diapers of all sizes on the registry.
all i want is to be happy
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Today at work was actually went fine. It was an easy day at work today. Don’t get me wrong I still dont like my job. I work with the most dull and dry people ever. They don’t care about you as a person. To them, you are just another worker. Anyways.
I finished making 4 coin purses tonight. I am about to make more. I can probably do another 4 easy. Tomorrow, I can list them. And I want to make pencil pouches tomorrow. If I can make at least 6 per evening, that would be awesome. I can list everyday. And I can start selling good again.
Ugghh. Why don’t I know what I want to do with my life? Why can’t I figure it out? Ok yes I know I am lacking money right now. But does that have to limit my choices? Maybe.
I want to be somebody. I want to be what I want to be. I want to feel accomplished. I know I can do it. I want to do something important in my life. I want to make money. I don’t need to make millions. I just want to make enough for my husband and me and the baby-someday. I want to be happy. I really want to.
to be my own boss (phase 2)
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I am officially a business owner today. Yay.
I have my business license and sales tax ID number. I am on my way to entrepreneurship. I am nervous and excited at the same time. I have to believe in myself. I have to. This is my one way ticket to entrepreneurship. This is the only way out from my boring job. I have to make it work. I have to. I can’t fail. I cannot afford to fail. I have to make it work. I have to get it off the ground. I have to.
I have to keep on telling myself all these things to keep myself going. To keep myself from going under. To keep myself motivated. I want to succeed. I want to. I cannot fail. I cannot. I just cannot.
I can’t doutbt myself. I have to do this. I have to. I have to be able to support myself. I have to.
I’ll keep on working on my small business. I’ll keep on trying. I’ll make it a big success.
2nd test…
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and it’s another positive one!!! I used different pregnancy test. By now, I think my husband and I are convinced that we are indeed pregnant. I am happy and excited and nervous at the same time.
As I am typing, my husband is working on getting the baby’s room ready. We had painted in lavendar color few months ago but now I want a different color. I want light blue/grey color. I am pretty sure we won’t need to buy anymore baby furniture. I have the majority of it already. I browsed through craigslist last night and I did find some cute stuff but I have to wait and see if I really need those. Maybe some toys. I am glad I live close to the library because then I can just borrow books and dvds there.
I am so excited. I have so much happiness for the new baby. It is still early so I guess I will have to take a really good care of it. My husband and I have been wanting one so this one is going to be precious
I just can’t wait. Can’t wait!! can’t wait!!!
I can’t wait to decorate the baby’s room . To actually paint it the way I want it to be. To actually have it completely done.
one more thing…
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So here is a confession from me. My husband and I have been planning to have a baby for almost a year now. I think we are finally pregnant. Over the last 8 - 9 months we have been buying all sorts of baby items from craigslist–some are new, some are used. I stopped buying for about 6 months ago thinking it’d be a waste if I can never have babies.
So anyways. We are bargain hunters. We like to find deals. Tonight was the first night I searched for baby items again after months of pause. I cannot believe how many people are trying to sell their stuff right now. And people are selling everything and anything. We are looking to buy a changing table, a high chair, and some other stuff maybe. We have bought the crib, stroller, car seat, and almost everything else. We even have bottles. Just need to buy new nipples.
A friend of mine who has kids told me to stock on diapers once I find out I am pregnant. I’ll do that soon as my pregnancy is confirmed.
Also another thing, I do not plan on going back to work at my sucky job after my baby is born. I want to start my own business. I figure I will have a year from today to launch it and I am so ready for it. Wish me luck on this part. I still hate my job. I hate it even more. I work with bunch of selfish bastards who cares nothing but themselves. Makes me sick. Pardon my language. I am not going to sacrifice my sanity and happiness for the sake of money. I’ve got time on my side to make all the money I can make doing things that make me happy.
As for now, I have a new family to build and to care for.
life story
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Family vacation with my husband was so much fun. I got to meet my mom and dad and sisters. It was so lovely.
Tonight I am all by myself. My husband is working at his part-time job. I am watching One Tree Hill on TV (and Gossip Girl earlier!!). I love the shows. Watching One Tree Hill always makes me want to live in a comfy small town with my husband and (future) kids.
Speaking of kids, my husband and I have been trying for awhile. It has been almost 6 months and I am not pregnant yet. I was hoping I’d get pregnant and then 9 months would pass and I’d quit my job and be a stay at home mom; maybe I’d work from home.
I pray everyday so that I will get pregnant soon. My husband wants a baby. I know God will grant us our wish. I just need to be patient.
