I’m so worried.
By now, I think I am pretty sure I am pregnant. I thought i was going to get pregnant sooner. But now it happens and I thought oh crap I don’t know what to do. I am so worried. I don’t want to go back to work after the baby is born but I don’t know how we can afford it.
We bring home $5300 per month (after tax). Day care would cost about $1200 – $1500 per month. So 5300 – 1200 = 4100 left. Minus mortgage ($1300) = 2800. Minus 2 car payments ($630)= 2170. Minus foods+gas ($600)= 1670. Minus pet foods ($100) =1570. Minus CC payments ($500) = 1070.
$5300 – 1070 = $4230 – 2000 (my husband makes)= 2230.
If I keep working, our take-home would look like this: 5000 – 1200 = $4100. My husband brings ini $2000 a month. That means, I would need to make $2100 a month doing work from home if I want to keep the same lifestyle and be able to stay at home with my baby.
$2100.
What do I need to do? I do sewing and I have been selling my crafts to friends. I can do that full time I guess. I can sell online. Also, I am thinking, I can start my fabric store from home. I figure I can start with about $5000 – $7500 dollars. That is a lot. But perhaps I can borrow money from my parents.
Keep my fingers crossed. Please pray for me.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/worklife/02/05/starbucks.saved.my.life/index.html
My question is, for all those years he was earning big money, didn’t he save some of it?
I guess I better start saving my money now.
I found a new love. I have never felt like this before. My new love is fabric. I love fabrics!!! Pretty fabrics. I just love them. I can’t get enough of them. I love looking at them. I love how they feel in my hands. I love the look of them. I just love them. I love to think what I can make with them. You have to show off beautiful fabrics. Can’t hide them.
My new love of sewing has grown into something I deeply care. I no longer see sewing as just a hobby–like something to kill time. No. It’s serious. I love it. Iwish I could make sewing as a living. I w ant to. I am going to.
If I was let go from work tomorrow, I would not be sad. Why? Because then that means, I’d have all the time in the world to sew!!!!!!
I don’t know why I feel the way I feel right now toward my new passion. It’s great. I love it. It makes me feel alive. It feeds my soul. My love to sewing and fabrics has nurtured the crafty side of me. The real me. I don’t want to be chained to the desk eight hours a day for five days a week. I want to explore things. I want to be creative. I want to make things. This is what I am born for. I just know it. When I make crafty things, they come naturally to me. I just love it. Granted I haven’t made much things yet with my sewing machine but I loved every minute I spent with it. I loved every second I spent making things with it. And each day, each time, I want to relive that moment.
Never in my life I felt such a strong connection to something like this.
Maybe God is trying to show me something? Maybe God is trying to tell me something? It’s a mystery of life but I look forward to unfolding the great stories behind it.
As for tonight, I just want to shout to the world and to announce my new love. Sewing.
Happiness = Sewing
What do I want to do?
For the first time in a long time, I feel a boost of confidence in my life. At this time, I feel like I can achive whatever I want in life. And I want to use this momentum to keep searching on what I truly want to do with my life.
I was pooped with what I do for living. Going to my office everyday is a drag so I have to quickly figure out what to do with my life. Sucks that the economy is in a dump right now. But that does not mean the end of the world for me. I believe that there is always something to do to make money. And if you do something you love, you won’t have to work a single day in your life ever again.
Soon, I will be starting the series of my Adobe classes at a local community college. I hope that will give me some kind of guidance if I should pursue graphic design in the future. I just found out how much I love sewing. I can sew all day. I just love it so much. I wish I had a craft room where I can have all my sewing supplies stashed and kept. But for now, what I have is sufficient. All I need is some storage boxes to store all my sewing supplies. Oh btw, I just bought some pretty fabrics to make things. I am going to make brush roll bags, diaper keepers, coin purses, totes, clutch, wrislets, all sorts of make-up bags, and passport holders. I just can’t wait!!! So far I have made 3 brush roll bags. Tomorrow, I am going to try to make the diaper keepers.
There is an art show starting in April. I would like to rent a booth space so I can sell my crafts. I think this is going to be fun. I can sell what I make for some money. Who knows I can make a little bit extra money on the side?
I love sewing so much I think about it every minute of my life now. I keep on thinking of ideas of what I want to make; what I need to make. I love it. I don’t know where this is going to take me but I am going to try to do my best.
Now. If only I knew what I should do with my life.
I realized that as I get older, my life is not getting easier. I have been facing so many heartaches at work. Everything seems to annoy me more and more everyday. My work life is getting duller each day. I don’t know what else to do. I want to quit but I have to find a way to afford it. I pray everyday but God has not granted my wishes. I feel so helpless but I know God will help me somehow.
I don’t know what is going on this week. To start, I called my embassy in Houston, Texas and the person on the phone was yelling at me just because I did not renew my passport on time. He was yelling. I don’t know what his deal was. I was so shocked. I was speechless. He went on and on lecturing me on things he wanted to say and I did not want to hear. He gave me his judgement on why I was late in renewing my passport. I guess it was almost the end of the world in his dictionary. What a jerk. He must have had a bad day–I called late in the day. Or maybe someone stole his lunch. I don’t know but that was pretty bad. If that was an american doing that to me, I would have hung up the phone. No respect at all from the embassy. And the ironic thing was…. we’re from the same home country. I get more respect from people in this coutry.
So I decided to apply to get my US citizenship right about now. I found out that I am already eligible to apply so I printed out the applications, etc today. This will be my weekend project to figure out what needs to be done. That jerk from my embassy can kiss my ass.
Next. Seems like I can never write anything good about my work or the people that I work with. Ever. Anything about it is bad. Like a gum that sticks on the bottom of your shoes, it is annoying.
New Kids on The Block just announced that they are going to do a cruise tour. I got the text message the day before so I was so excited. The booking was opened today at 11. So last night, I checked out the website and gathered all the information I needed to book the cruise. The cheapest spot was about $800 + some security fees, etc … so total is about $1000 – $1100 for a 4 day cruise from Miami to Bahamas.
Now, this morning, soon as I got to work, I emailed my boss to tell him that I would like to take 2 days off in May. What did he say? He was not sure if he could give it to me. WTF. I was so pissed. So mad. Then time went by. Noon. Then late afternoon, my boss told me that he could give me the days off. OK. WTF. The cruise was almost booked. The cheaper spots were gone already and the ones left were $1500 – 2000 per spot. Do I look like I keep money under the bed??????? I was so so so so mad. I wanted this so bad and because of that idiot I missed the cruise and I am going to miss this and I am going to regret it for the rest of my life. It would have been ok for me to pay the $800 since I want to take my husband with me. But with $1500 per person…. there is no way we can afford $3000 cruise.
And to top it off……… today I found out I am not yet pregnant.
I just feel like things keep on rolling down the hills. I don’t know why I have this luck. Everything happens in less than a week span. All piled up. What am I doing wrong? Why me? Why why why???
All I wanted was one thing to go right because then everything else is going to be ok from that point on.
Well. I was supposed to get close to $20,000 gross in bonus in March (take home would be around $13 – 14,000) but instead, I will only be getting close to $14,000 (around $9000 take home). The company said that they didn’t perform that well last year. Bah humbug. They’re fine. They were doing better than years before!!!! I think it’s just a way they are taking advantage of current’s economy status. I think they are cutting everyone’s bonuses in purpose.
Also, my raise is only 2% for the beginning of the year and I think there will be another 2% at the end of the year. My salary is only going to be $65,000. Bonus rate is 20% (no increase from last year).
There will be no increase in my monthly take-home income really. It’ll stay pretty much where it has been. Well, at least I still have my job. I would like to earn more but I have to be patient. Soon, I will be able to open my own business and this is an apportunity for me to earn as much money as possible.
Today my husband and I drove around shopping centers in the city and we found several empty store fronts available for lease. I called a couple of them and got some ideas of how much those store front spaces are leasing for. One was so expensive for a small place; however, it was located in a prime shopping center area in a nice neighborhood — very upscale. The other is not so bad and it is actually in my price range. I don’t know when I want to open my own business. I have some ideas but I need to really, really think about it first. I am looking to start it in 2010. So I have almost a full year to jot down some ideas and formula some plans.
Wish me luck.
I have almost 2 1/2 more hours to go until the new year. It is time to make changes in my life. Good changes that will bring more lucks, joy, happiness, fortunes, true friendship, health, and love. I am done with 2008. The new year will be so joyful. I am going to be a happier person in so many ways.
In January, I will be starting sewing classes. It is 6 weeks long and it costs $85 for the entire length of class. The class will start on January 15 I think. I will be done by the end of February. Why am I taking this class? Well, let me tell you something. I have been wanting to learn how to sew. I want to make pretty things for babies and for women who like to wear pretty things. I want to make baby blankies, diaper bags, changing pad, baby bags, or aprons for hot all the mamas out there. I want to make them and I want to sell them online. As of right now, I am looking at etsy.com as a place to sell them. I do have my own website, which sadly, I hardly use actually. I might get to use that soon enough. So. Now you know why I am taking sewing classes. I want to learn a new skill each year. In 2008, I learned cake decorating skill that I enjoyed learning.
Financially, I would like to earn more money. I want to do what I love. I want to find my passion. I really, really need to figure out what it is that I want to do. My plan is to open my own business. As of right now, I am not 100% so sure what it is going to be yet. In a fairy-tale-ending world, I would open a baby boutique. Something that is affordable for new mothers. I will carry handmade items. I want to sell pretty things that mothers and babies will adore.
Year 2009 is also the year my husband and I would like to have our first baby. I want a baby. My husband wants a baby. We want a baby. I am 100% sure we are ready emotionally. I know my husband will be a good dad.
I have so much I want to accomplish in 2009. I want to get a new house in 2009. I really want to. I want something a bit bigger for our pets and our future family!!!!!
Here’s a toast to a Happier New Year!!!!!!!!!!!
I had a long and stressful day at work today. I hated it. I got home late and I was grumpy to my dogs. I was so short tempered with my dogs tonight. Good thing my husband is not at home. I’d probably get mad at him for no reasons as well. I think God is doing everything for a reason.
I hate my job. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it so much.
Tonight after dinner (alone!) I watched an old movie. It is called “To Keep”. It’s a sweet movie about young high school couple who got themselves pregnant. The family wanted them to give up the baby or to get an abortion. The girl didn’t do any of those though. She decided to keep the baby. The whole story was about the ups and downs of being a young couple with a baby. They realized juggling family, works, and schools were not easy. There was a point where they didn’t have enough money to pay for electricity. But in the end, of course, love conquered all the troubles and sorrows. The couple emerged from the bottom and together they worked it out.
While watching the movie, I thought to myself, what if we cannot afford to have a baby? What if something goes wrong? I am too stressed out at work to think about having a baby or caring for one. I hate my job. Shouldn’t I be doing something less stressful so I can have a happy and healthy pregnancy? I want to make sure the baby that I am carrying is healthy and happy. I don’t want to be too stressed out while carrying the baby. I don’t want my baby to be born into a stressful world. I want to have loving and caring baby.
Today, I thought of something at work. I want to work with my 2 good friends at work. They sit next to me but they are from different department. I adore them. They are my 2 best friends at work. I talk to them all the time. One of them is a supervisor and I told her to hire me. She said she would in April when one of her people leaves. That made me happy just to think about it. Maybe this is a sign from God that I have been looking for? God got me a job where I am now to bring me closer to my 2 new bestfriends. And maybe, God is going to show me a way to get that job. To work with them. I might have to take a pay cut. But at least I wouldn’t be losing my benefits and my paychecks. It is still better than losing a job.
