Ok. I am a little freaked out to be honest. I am going to start a business soon…. from home–selling things online. I was so pumped out yesterday and now I am having all sort of bad dreams about the business that has not yet started. Am I too overreacted? Am I just nervous? Is this normal?
I have so much expectation with my new venture. I cannot fail on this project. I have to succeed. I cannot accept failure anymore. I have so much hopes on this new venture.
Maybe I am pressuring myself too much but this new venture is going to cost me some money so it better works.
I was feeling depressed today almost all day. I was thinking about work and all of the sudden my mood changed from happy to depressing. I don’t think I can last any longer in my work. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it so much. I just don’t know how to handle it right now. I don’t know how we can afford me quiting the job. I can sell my car and that will eliminate one car payment. Then we can get rid of stuff from the storage. I have to pick up sewing again soon. I cannot wait any longer.
I can start selling my handmade items on Etsy, my personal website, and also at the arts market.
My sewing machine is not working great right now. I am so mad. Now I am looking into purchasing another one. A better quality one. Something that can handle many sewing hours.
Ok I am sleepy and tired. Better go to sleep. Tomorrow is Sunday. I am going to church again. I went today and it was so weird because the message from today’s mass was that if you believe in God, and if you ask anything, it will be done. I don’t know why I cried all of the sudden after hearing the message. I knew God was talking to me. I knew He was sending me an assurance that everything is going to be ok. I do have faith in God. I have been praying everynight for Him to grant me a way so I can financially afford to quit my job. Something’s got to happen. Something’s got to work out somehow. I don’t know what it is but things got to be better. I have to find ways to make myself happy. I am going to start looking for another job. Keep my fingers crossed. Perhaps I can do part-time job and I can use the other half to run my business from home.
God, please hear my prayers. Help me please. Help.
I have been feeling weird lately. My tummy just does not feel good at all. So last night, my husband took me to get pregnancy test at Walgreens. I was going to test myself last night but I thought I’d do it the next day.
So this morning I took the pregnancy test and I got 2 lines, which means I am pregnant–one is lighter than the other. I told my husband.
Well, we might be pregnant!!!!!!!!
My period is supposed to be next week on Tuesday. So… it is still early. However, we did get the pregnancy test that can be used 5 days sooner.
I am excited. And I hope my husband too. I am praying so that I am positively pregnant. I am going to test myself again this weekend using different pregnancy tests. And if I get all positive results, I will call my doctor to confirm my pregnancy.
I am happy but nervous at the same time. I have so much to think about. We need to save more money. We need to fix the house. We have a fence we need to install. We need to fix the kitchen. We have to buy new washer and dryer. I want to quit my job after the baby is born. All these roll into one. I don’t know how we can afford everything. I don’t know how we can do everything at the same time…..
I will turn everything to God. God heard my prayers!!! He heard my prayer to get pregnant. After months asking, He finally grants me a pregnancy (keep my fingers crossed). And He knows I have been asking for a way so I can financially afford to quit my job. And I know with all my heart, God will find me a way. I know that. There is no doubt in my heart at all. I have faith in him.
Thank you Jesus. Thank you Virgin Mary.
It has been a one long week for me. Tomorrow is Friday. Since I will be on call this weekend, I have to say I am not too looking forward to the weekend. I probably will take it easy. I won’t be going out much. Just stay at home I suppose.
My work situation hasn’t improved. Still the same. I am still dreading it everyday. Seems like an eternity my time at work. I hate it. Oh how I pray everyday begging Virgin Mary and Jesus to please show me a way so I can afford to quit my job. That is all I want.
All my other prayers have been answered by God. A friend at work asked me to pray so she becomes pregnant. I did and it turns out that she is indeed pregnant. I am so happy for her. This week another friend of mine and I signed up for a sewing class but the teacher was not sure if she would have enough people sign up as she would need to have 10 students in the class in order for the class not to be canceled. Today was the last day to sign up and 30 minutes before the deadline, there were only 8 people signed up. My friend called and asked me to pray quickly so that the class won’t be canceled. We really want to take this particular sewing class together. So, I prayed to Jesus and Virgin Mary. And 30 minutes later I called the teacher and she told me that the class was not canceled.
You see, Virgin Mary and Jesus hear prayers. I don’t care what people say I believe that they will always answer my prayers. Some prayers will be answered faster than others.
I am praying so my husband and I will hear a pregnancy news soon.
I pray and beg everyday so that Jesus and Mary will show me a way to afford quiting my job. I told them I would like to open my own business with my husband. I know the economy is tough right now but I know with God by myside, nothing is impossible.
I want to be happy in my life. I want to live a happy life with my husband and my future children.
My husband and I bought a gently used baby bassinet today. We bought it for $20. It’s white with ruffles around it. Very cute. I am thinking we can put our future baby in it for the first few months until he/she outgrows it then we’ll get a used crib. We also stopped by at Marshall’s to get some baby toys. I bought 2 baby items that cost me about $20. Expensive!!! Today I spent a total of $40 for our future baby.
I have been looking at craigslist a lot for cheap baby stuff. I learned that baby does not use stuff for that long because they wil outgrow the things we buy for them in a snap. So I am going to get most things second hand if possible. Of course, I can’t just get everything used. I am sure there will be things that I will need to get new. I guess I can always put those on the registry someday.
My husband has to work evening tomorrow at his part-time job. I will be at home by myself again I guess. I am going to try to clean up and do some works around the house. And cook for the next week.
I am on call this weekend so it’s not going to be fun but I am hoping it will be an easy weekend for me.
Tonight I asked my husband again if he is sure about having a baby next year. He said yes. So I guess we will be having a baby next year!! I am excited. I cannot wait the day the doctor tells me that I am pregnant. I will be the happiest woman in the world. I love my husband so much and I cannot wait to start a family with him. We have been married for almost 5 years and I think this is a good time for us to have a baby. I am hoping to have another one in 2011. I’d like to have 3 but we’ll see. I’ll be happy with one. We’ll see how we handle one baby first. I am so excited. I think about it everyday. I want to be a good mother. Our baby will bring my husband and me lots of luck, happiness, joy, fortune, and good life. This is why I cannot wait for his arrival.
I pray to the Blessed Mother and Jesus to bless us with a wonderful baby. I pray so that we will conceive soon. I pray so that we have a beautiful, healthy, and happy pregnancy. I want to be happy. I want to enjoy my life. I want to share what I have in life with our baby. I cannot wait!!!
Please pray so that God will bless us with pregnancy soon. Thank you.
It has been a long two weeks for me. Some days were fun.
Last week, my husband and I had a “road trip” going to Atlanta to see New Kids on The Block. We met them in person. Sure I had to pay extra for this (more like $375 per head) but it was well worth it. I’d do it all over again if I could. More than once.
We also went to see their reunion concert. I had a blast. That was one of the best times of my life. A dream came true for me. Last time I saw their concert was in my home country and I was in 2nd grade of junior high school so about 15 years of age. I am 30 now. When I saw them performing, that 15 year-old in me leaped in joy and happiness. I don’t care what people think it was a pure bliss for me. I had fun and that was the most important thing. I am thankful (so thankful) that my husband is so understanding. He drove me all the way to Atlanta. He went to meet New Kids. He went to the concert with me. Had I married someone else, I’d have to do all that by myself. I’d probably decided to be a groupie. LOL.
Then my husband, again, drove me to Tampa to see another New Kids concert. We didn’t have tickets. But my husband drove me there anyways. We got there 30 minutes right before the concert started. And luckily, we managed to find great tickets for $60 a pop (actual price was $90 each). It was so much fun. Although driving back home wasn’t so much fun. We had to go to work the next day too. But I was so pumped up that I didn’t care about that. We only had about 4 hours of sleep that night. But to me, it was well worth it. I love New Kids that much.
Well then I fell sick. Perhaps after about a week of high adrenaline rush my body couldn’t take it anymore. I had real bad sore throat. I took a half-day off from work to go to an urgent care clinic. The doctor thought I had an infection on my throat. But the test came back negative so she only prescribed me a regular medicine. It didn’t help much. That evening, I cried because it hurt so bad. Then I prayed to God. Literally, in 5 minutes the sore throat was gone. Lord have mercy on me. That was a miracle. I was healed by Jesus. The next day I came back to work and everyone asked me how I was doing. I said, great. And everyone looked at me confused. They said that I did not sound sick at all. Then I said, I am not sick anymore; I was healed. I told the story to everyone. Lord answers prayers. Believe in Him. Ask and you shall receive. That is the world I live by everyday.
This afternoon, I had an appointment with my doctor. I told her about our plan to start a baby next year. She said she’d help me plan it. She told me the types of supplements/vitamins I’d need to take from now. I am not sure when my husband and I want to start it but I guess it is better to prepare it than not at all. I would feel better if we plan it. This is going to be a huge responsibility. A life changing decision so we better prepare it the best we can.
Tonight, my husband and I decided to go to the fair downtown. It was fun. I think we spent money on stupid things but oh well. Don’t think we spent that much though. Maybe $30 – 40. We had fun.
Right now I feel tired. I am getting ready to go bed. I am going to say prayers again to God, Jesus, and Virgin Mary. I am going to ask them for more blessings in my life. I am so lucky to have been this blessed in my life. I hope that God would help me find a way to quit my job without losing the money. I will keep on praying. God hears our prayers. I believe that.
Ok I don’t know what to do anymore. I have been praying to almost every Saint there is out there. I have been praying to God everyday and everynight. I have been saying countless Novenas to Virgin Mary, Miraculous Infant Jesus, and even to St.Jude. I have been praying for weeks. My prayer has not been answered. My one single prayer.
God where are you? Why are you not listening to my prayer? Why are you not answering to me?
I went to church to attend the Novena mass today and I prayed again. So hard. If praying to all Saints and to God and to Jesus does not get my prayer answered I don’t know what else to do.
All I want is for my one single prayer to be answered. Just one.
I am not a bad person at all. I have every good intention in the world with my prayer. I don’t know what it is taking God so long to answer it. I have every faith and believe in every breath I take that God will answer it. I have no doubt about it. I know He hears my prayer. I know it.
I do feel desperate at times, I do feel sad and dissapointed but I know God will never dissapoint me. God will never hurt my feeling.
So until He answers my prayer, that one single prayer, I will keep on asking. Because I know, one day, my prayer will be answered and I will tell the whole wide world how awesome God is and I will make millions others to believe in God.
Two more days to payday. Yay. I have been very good for *almost* the past 2 weeks. I brought lunches from home and at them at the office building cafetaria. During lunch hours, I sometimes have time to walk to the library or the park. Because of this I have lost 3 pounds in the last a week and a half. Both my husband and I save a lot of money by bringing our lunches from home and eating dinner at home. Tonight, I got free dinner. I went to a class held at my church and they provided dinner for free. So I thought, what the heck, I’ll go for the free dinner and extra knowledge!!
Not much happening since earlier this week really. Work is fine; so far so good. I cannot wait to get it through March next year. The time when we will finally pay off all our debts except for the mortgage. I am so looking forward to that day. In less than 6 months my husband and I will be debt free!!!!!!!!! What a feeling that will be. And knowing that for the rest of that year we’ll be able to live on my husband’s income alone is a very heavenly feeling. I gigle everytime I think about that. I have this big huge smile on my face just imagining that moment in March 2009. We’ll be able to save all my paychecks. Wow. Amazing.
You know another thing I want to talk about this evening is the power of prayers. I know some people don’t believe in God and it’s fine with me, but for those who believe in God… isn’t God amazing? I mean, I was experiencing some really hard times earlier this year and I prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed… and God answered my prayers. It was beyond happiness to me. I felt that I started getting to know God very well at the beginning of this year. Everything just happened. Just like that. And I turned to God. He has been helping me with everything in my life ever since. The power of prayers, my friends, please do not underestimate it. God hears our prayers.
Whenever I feel down or unhappy, I always seek comfort in the words of God. I now have the habit of reading the bible before I go to bed. I also read the Novena prayer before I go to bed. Sometimes, I read it during lunch hours. I read it over and over. The words are so beautiful they bring tears to my eyes sometimes.
I didn’t know what I was looking for in life before. Then I asked God for guidance. He’s been holding my hands ever since. I feel at peace. I feel comforted. I feel safe. I know that no matter what happens in this world, God is watching me and protecting me. Now I feel that I have a purpose in life.
Lately, with the way economy is going, I have seen a lot more homeless people on the streets. There is this one old man who “lives” inside a bus stop close to my office building. I see him twice everyday; in te morning and in the afternoon. Sometimes I see him 3 times! this is on one of those occasions when I decide to go somewhere with my car. Anyways. This man is always greeting everyone; good morning, good afternoon, have a good day, have a bless day, etc. So one day, I asked how he was doing and he replied, I am hungry and all I want is foods. Normally I would just pass him by but that day I stopped. I looked at him and I said, well you know there is a food bank close to here where you can get foods. He said, yes I went there this morning. He didn’t ask me for anything. I don’t know why I pulled out my wallet and I gave him the last $20 I had that day. I said, spend this on foods please Lord is watching you. He thanked me many many times. I left him and while walking to my office I thought in my head…. what if he spent that money on alcohol???? I assured myself what matters was my intention. I had good intention for him. He did not ask me for money. I gave him the money.
So later that day I saw him again on my way to the parking garage. The man was there. Sitting on the bus stop bench. He had a smile so big on his face when he saw me. When I was about to pass in front of him he said to me, Miss I would like to show you something. I stopped and he showed me a backpack filled with canned foods and crackers. He bought foods with my money!!!!!! He said to me, this should last me for 2 weeks. And again, he thanked me many many times.
I wish I had a lot more money to help homeless people. Not just to give them money but perhaps I could open a shelter for them. Perhaps I could help them to get back on their feet with some sort of job trainings. I can’t imagine the live of those homeless people. Winter is approaching soon. Where are they going to go for warmth and comfort? I don’t know. Maybe I am naive but I believe in the goodness of people. That we should help others when we can. I help people whenever I can because I want to help. Because I have a tiny hope in my heart that someday, when that person I help is back on his/her feet that he/she will help others. And many others that he/she helps will help many many others.
