I still hate my job. More than anything. I wish I could just quit. I had planned to leave the company this September but then I changed my mind. I might stay until after I get my bonus next year. As of right now, I want to grow my home business to the point where it is profitable so that I can stay at home with my baby.

I took her to the church today for the first time. I prayed. To God, Jesus, Virgin Mary, St.Anthony. I begged so they’d listen to my prayer. And would grant my petition. I asked them to show me a way so I could afford to quit my job. I realy really really want to raise my baby at home. I don’t want to send her to the daycare. I don’t want to go back to work. Right now I just dont know how. Only a miracle would enable me to do that.  I’d work from home but what new job is available right now? I know I should be thankful and happy and grateful to have a job in this economy. I am. But it would be nice if I could have an option to stay at home. My husband’s income alone wouldnt be enough to support all of us. There were days when I wished he would find a better paying  job instead of staying too comfortable where is at right now. I was always miserable and stressed out at my work place and I don’t know how I am going to handle it after the baby.

Right now the only thing I can do is to pray for a miracle. I am going to stay positive and to pray every day and night (like what I have been doing for years). Tonight, I will be praying harder than ever. I will be asking the same thing again with all my heart.  I will be asking the same thing everyday. Until my wish is granted…

I can’t believe she is already 3 weeks old! Seems like it was just yesterday I gave birth to her. I still remember everything. Every little details!! My little baby is now a darling little 3 week old baby. So precious.

Last night, my husband and I went to watch the viewing party of the movie “Valentine’s Day” and a family friend offered to watch Audrey while we were gone. We went for about 4 hours and I missed my baby sooooo much. I was so happy when I saw her.

Anyways. I am just happy to have Audrey in my life

My baby is getting cuter and cuter everyday. I love her so much. I never knew I could love someone this much in my life. I know Audrey will grow up one day to be an adult but I think as long as I live I am going to remember her as my little darling.

My vintage shop is online again. I listed several items today so I hope I sell something. I took pictures of some vintage I have wanted to sell. They will be listed tomorrow.

My other shops need new items listed. I am so lazy. How am I going to get ahead if I am this lazy? Sigh. I need to start making a list of things to do for each shop again–like what I used to do. Whatever happened to the good ol days when I was so disciplined? I am thinking I should convert a small area of the family room into something where I can do portion of my crafts in there.

My baby is turning 2 weeks old today. Where did the time go? She is 2 weeks old already! I cannot believe it. I still remember today 2 weeks ago….. The contractions… The pains…. The excitements…. and today…. here she is 2 weeks old. Today she decided she doesn’t like her pacifier anymore. She is sleeping about 3 hour stretch now. Yay.

Happy 2-week birthday Audrey! mommy and daddy love you.

My husband left for his 2nd job at 5PM. He’ll be home around10.30 tonight. Short night he said. So quiet in the house without him and the baby is sleeping now. Even the dogs are sleeping.

I read someone’s blog writing about shrimp and grits and now I am craving for shrimp and grits. But I don’t fee like cooking. I don’t even think I have some shrimps in my fridge. Sigh. Oy.

Before my husband left for work tonight I asked if he wanted to go to Savannah for a weekend. You know like a 2-night getaway with the baby. We’re thinking of going during the president’s day weekend. We could leave Saturday morning and back on Monday afternoon. I am excited. I’ve always wanted to take the baby to Savannah. Both my husband and I love Savannah. It’s the most charming city in the South. And we’re lucky we live not too far from it. I wish I could move there. I’d do it in a heartbeat if I could. Maybe I should find a job there.

Anyways. Oh yeah, my boss called me on Friday to let me know my bonus. He’s giving me the 100%.  But with the down economy, everyone is only getting 2/3 of what we’re supposed to get. So.. my portion is only going to be 7000 (minus tax). So about 5000. I am not complaining. At least I am getting something. Last year was nice. I got around 13 or 14,000. Well, I hope our bonus last year is much better. I told my husband we could use the bonus money to pay off our Jeep. It happens that we only have around 5000 left to pay. 

Another good news, my mom called on Saturday evening and she told me that she’d send us some money. I am not in any position to decline any money gifts right now so I will take every penny. I am thinking we could use the money from her to pay off some of our other small debts. So far our saving is 12,000 something. I am not going to touch that money for anything but true emergencies. Our goal is to grow that saving to 20,000 by the end of the year and I think that is a doable goal.  We have the kitchen we need to fix but I think we’re doing that as-we-go. I wonder how long it’s going to take us to save 50,000. If, we saved the 5000 bonus, we’d have 17,000 in saving right now. And if we saved another 8000 by the end of the year, that’d make our saving to 25,000. Half way there! Wow. I’d be comfortable with 25,000. When it comes to money, how much is enough? I don’t think people will ever have enough money. We always want more. It’s human nature I guess. I don’t know. Now I am torn between keeping the bonus or using it to pay off the car. Darn. Why can’t my bonus be more than just 5000? Stinking economy.

I hope I won’t lose anymore money on my retirement acct. I lost a bunch a year or so ago. Now I only have 50,000 something in there. 53 or 55K. Something like that. Anyways.

Baby is going to wake up in another 30 minutes. I better get ready.

Yesterday, I told her stories about the rainforests in my home country. She just listened and looked at me with her prety big eyes. Today I told her stories about old palaces in my home country where the  old kings and queens used to live.  Two days ago I told her stories about the big backyard we used to have in my parent’s home. I know she doesn’t understand everything now but I like to tell her stories. And I love how she’d just look at me as if she understood everything.

Tonight also, my mom called. She asked how Audrey was doing.  I miss my mom. She is a good grandmother. I wish she was here when the baby was born. She lives thousand miles away from us but I know she loves my daughter already. I hope to bring Audrey to visit my families back home one day. Perhaps when she is 2 years old.

I am sleepy. Been a long day with the baby.

My husband is working at his part-time job right now so he won’t be able to celebrate. He asked me to take a picture of the baby at 23.49; the time she was born last week ^_^

Audrey is a joy. She smiles a lot, whether intentional or not. She loves to hear my voice. She smirks like my husband. Sometimes she gives me a serious look when I talk to her.

I never thought I could ever give love this much but she is the love of  my life. She is my ray of sunshine. I cannot wait to share our worlds together!!

I love you Audrey!!

Audrey has chubby cheeks, my nose, and my husband’s eyes. She is the most precious thing in my world. She loves to make an o with her lips. She is drinking her milk good. When she is awake, she’d look around her nursery with her tiny eyes. She loves to be burped by my husband. She farts a lot. LOL.

I never thought I would ever be a mom. It’s a magical feeling. I cried last night because I was so happy. I didn’t cry when I first saw her because I was still in disbelief. Then slowly the reality sinked in. She truly is a bundle of joy. I love her so much. Whenever I hold her, I feel like I don’t want that moment to ever go away. I want to keep it forever.