I had a huge fight with my husband last night. It started when I ranted about my job. I hate my job. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.
My husband, instead of being compassionate, didn’t seem to care. So I got mad at him. He is the only one I have in this country. I don’t have my families here. I tell him everything. I was dissapointed that he didn’t seem to care about my problem. I hated that he didn’t even try to comfort me. He could have lied to me to make me feel better, I would have believed him. Whenever I feel the world is crushing down on me, all I want is someone to tell me everything is going to be ok. Instead of a blank look and empty words. If he didn’t care, then who else should I go to????
I didn’t undertstand. He said to me, it didn’t matter what he said because I would be mad at him anyways. Well yeah if he didn’t even try to comfort me hell yeah I’d be mad. What he wanted me to talk to my neighbors about my problems?????
I got so mad at him last night. Very, very mad. I went to bed crying. I slept by myself. I woke up with a big headache. My eyes were puffy. My good friend at work noticed. I told her I had a bad night but I didn’t really collaborate. I didn’t feel like telling the whole world.
Today was not perfect but it was bearable. I had lunch with one of my good friends at work. She is pregnant so she was telling me about her excitement and all that. Pregnancy stuff. Last night, when I had a fight with my husband, I told him I didn’t want to have a baby anymore. I just don’t know how we can afford it. I hate my job. I want to quit but if I want to have a baby, I’d have to wait until the baby is born so I can save hospital bills. This sucks. I don’t want to wait–for a baby or to quit my job.
I prayed and I begged God to let me win the lottery. I know it sounds so stupid but right now, this is the only way I know that can get me out of this whole mess.
I hate my life sometimes.
There are many times I wish my husband had a better paying job. There are many times I wish my husband had more money. There are many times I wish my families were here. There are many times I wish I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I am not perfect. I know that. But I just want to at least be happy.
Last night, I paid off all my CC debts. I am a little embarassed by this but I used some of the money that my mom sent me to pay it all off. Once we get the rest of the money (first wire was $10,000), we’ll pay off my husband’s CC debts. After this we should only have the mortgage and the car payments (which are quite high $625 for 2 cars). But the plan is to pay off the car payments by March 2009–this is also assuming my company does not piss me off again. I am hoping and praying and begging to God to help me win the lottery.
My husband went to his part-time job about 30 minutes ago. He made $140 on his paycheck for his part time job. Yay. I think he should be able to get in average of $500 – $600 per month from that job. Not too bad for a part-time job he likes to do. And now that our CC debts are almost gone, that money will be going toward our EF.
Well. I am going to get ready for my Wednesday class at church. It is going to start soon. I will be back in a couple of hours to continue this blog.
My husband is going to help his grandma to move her stuff to New York. She has decided to move to NY. I think her families have requested her to move up there–where everyone (her sons) is pretty much. My husband’s grandma is going to live in a nursing home. She is almost 80 years old I think.
My husband’s dad called him today to find out about grandma’s moving plan. And he mentioned something about my husband’s aunt plan on moving to NY as well. She lives in our state but different city; about 45 minutes from where we live.
My husband’s families have always been asking my husband to move to NY.
I thought about it. I did like the idea. But then something struck me. How the heck are we going to haul all our pets? And how are we going to afford a house in NY? If I move to NY, I am not about to live in the boonies. No way. If I move to the city, I want to live in the city.
We are in a debt reduction mode and we just talked about a plan to eliminate all debts–mortgage included–by year 2015. We owe $145,000 on our mortgage. With our current plan, it is highly possible to eliminate that by 2015–and we will still be able to save my bonuses and both of our raises.
Where in NY will I find a job that gets me $100,000/year? Just for me. And as for my husband, I would very much like him to make way more than me. Ok, how about $150,000/year? Then it would be very possible for us to afford a house in the $500,000 – $750,000 somewhere close to the city in NY. But if no one can guarantee these salaries then forget it. Forget about living in the city. I am happy and very content living in the smaller city where we make over $100,000/year and we live on one salary—and!! and!! with our current plan, we should be able to retire with millions before we hit 60!!! How awesome is that.
I love where we live right now. We live so close to work–mine is only 5 minutes drive. We make good salaries. We own a house–that will be paid off in year 2015. The weather is nice all year round–no snow, no sleets, nothing crazy. The beach is only 20 – 30 minutes away. We are surrounded by water. It’s super. I love it here. I really do. The one thing I absolutely love about this place is that it is so laid back here. I don’t have to worry about catching up the subway or bus. I can park my car where ever I want. I can go the groceries whenever I want. I don’t have to be on anyone’s schedules. Everyone is nice and warm. I just love it here.
I love New York–to visit. I adore New York–for its glamorous life. However, the place where I am now is where I belong until I am ready to retire. I am not moving to New York. By that time, I will be moving to Savannah, Georgia–where I can sit back and relax in one of their pocket parks.
My husband starts his part-time job tonight. He will be working from 6.30 PM – 1 AM. He will also work on Sunday from 11AM – 6PM. This part-time job is only from October – May. He should be able to bring in an extra $400 – 600 each month from this gig. Not bad for a part-time job.
Tomorrow, we are going to a home and patio show. We plan on going to the show early in the morning. My husband’s football team is playing at 3.30 tomorrow and I have an appointment with a dog trainer at 3.30 as well. After that we are going to see Beverly Hills Chihuahua at the movie theater. Two of our Chihuahuas look like the 2 main characters.
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This week, for 5 days straight, I was able to not go out for lunch or eating out for dinner!!! I usually bring lunches from home but sometimes I get tempted to buy something else during lunch. But this week I was really good. So I am happy for that. Also, my husband and I have been eating dinner at home this whole week. Tomorrow, we might get lunch somewhere–we have tons of buy-one-get-one-free coupons. I still have some grocery that I can cook to make lunches and dinners for maybe couple days next week. My husband still has about one loaf of meatloaf. I plan to make him Turkey chili tomorrow for dinner. The weather is starting to cool and I think chili would make a nice dinner on a cool evening. I don’t know what else I am going to cook for him. I think the grocery store has some chicken on sale so I might get some for him.
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Today I was having a debate with myself on what I should really do with the money my mom is going to send. She is sending me $20,000 to fix up the house. My husband thinks we should pay off our debts (or at least some of them).
I feel bad that everytime I ask for money to my mom I always tell her it is for the house but then we always use it to pay our debts or something else. This time my mom is being super generous and she is giving us $20,000 to fix up our house. I was so excited. I want to have a pretty little house. I don’t want my house to be the ugliest house on the block. My house is pretty small comparing our neighbors’ house but that does not bother me. What bothers me is that I see very, very little improvements in my house since 3 years ago when we bought it. I really really really want to put fences around my house so I can let my big dogs outside during nice cool days. They could use more exercise in the backyard. I also want to start enjoying my porch with my dogs in the afternoon. I have nice big porch but since we have no fence, I can’t really let my dogs out in the front porch. They always run to the streets and I hate that. So having my house fenced is definitely on top of my list. Also another thing I want is to have my kitchen done. I am not talking about having a super duper kitchen. I want a real kitchen. Something simple. And I want a laundry room. I am tired of going to the laundry room every weekend. I hate it.
At the same time, I also want to save money. I wish I could save all the money that my mom sends me. All $20,000. That would make our emergency fund up close tol $24,000, which translates to 8 months of living expenses should both me and my husband lose our jobs.
To make things complicated, I also want to make a dent in our debts. That $20,000 would make a serious dent in our debts. That would actually wipe out all our CC debts–mine is about $6000 and my husband’s $14,000. If we paid off our debts, we’d wipe out about $800 in CC payments every month.
$5360 (total combined take-home income per month) – $3075 (living expenses + 2 cars payments) = $2285 —> per month that we can save!!!!
This sound SOOOOO good. I am actually tempted to do that. Wipe out all our CC debts. Gosh. That would be nice. But I also want to fix up the house. Part of me wants to use the money to completely fix up the house and part of me want to wipe out our CC debts. But I feel that our CC debts are our responsibility and it is not fair to use the money my mom gives me to wipe out the debts when she wants us to use the money for the house. If we use all the money to wipe out the debts, it will take us about 10 months to save $20,000.
In March 2009, I should be getting about $13,000 in bonus money.
Ok let’s say we used the money my mom gives me to wipe out the debts. So this month, we’d be out of CC debts. That means, we should be able to save at least $2000 (I won’t count my husband’s part-time income) each month. And by end of March, we should be able to save $12,000 (2000×6 months). Also in March, I will be receiving $13,000 in bonus money. So, $12,000 + $13,000 = $25,000 in 6 months.
My husband’s part-time job should give us extra money as much as $5000 in total by March 2009. Plus come to think of it, I should be getting a raise again in December to be effective in January 2009. I expect to get $200/month raise (after tax and after 2% increase to my retirement account).
If we want to go crazy, we could use the $25,000 saved by March 2009 to pay off our cars (should be less than $20,000 by then). This would lower our expenses by $625 to $2450 per month. Assuming our take home income was going to be $5500/month, this would make a possible saving of $3050 every month. Holy Cow. Do you know what this means? This means, my husband and I can live on one income!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! His income alone would be sufficient to support both of us!!! That would be a life transformation for us really. And this also means that starting March 2009, we would be able to save at least $3000/month. And we’d be able to use the money to fix up our house.
What do you think???
Well tonight was interesting.
My husband and I went to a religion class at our church. It was good. I enjoyed it. My husband did not really want to go at first but then he went with me. There were free foods before the class began. It was like getting free dinner so that’s a plus. I plan on coming to the next class again next week.
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I called my mom and dad. They’re so excited that I am going to go home visit. We talked for about 20 minutes. We exchanged news and stories. It was nice. I am going to call my mom again next week.
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I started thinking of what I should get for my husband’s families and my bestfriend for Christmas. I am thinking I should get them some fruits this year. Like a basket of fruits from Harry and David or something like that. It’s healthy and they will eat them. It’s not going to get wasted–I hope not. I hate getting cheap Christmas gifts that get unused. What’s the point??? I’d rather not get anything really. Or maybe I am picky. Maybe. Anyways. I don’t expect anyone to give me anything this Christmas. My own Christmas list is quite long and I will get some of them for myself. Just need to remind myself not to go overboard. Christmas shopping is dangerous. I will need to think about what I need to get for my families as gifts when I go home. I might send them first to my sister’s house that way I don’t have to haul them accross the globe.
Ah almost 11 PM. Time to go to bed. Tomorrow is Thursday already!!! I have a facial appointment tomorrow at 4 so I will try to get out of my office earlier than 4. Yay. The weekend is almost here. So exciting.
So what happens when you don’t like your job anymore but you need the money? Do you suck it up and keep coming to work anyways or do you quit and find something else? For me to leave my job right now would be pretty stupid considering the economy and the fact that I have not enough savings. Ugghhh. I just don’t like the way the job is going right now although I know my job is safe enough since it is not in the financial industry.
I am praying and hoping I win the lottery. I know. I know. The chance is so slim but it is still a chance. I will take it.
Today was a quite depressing day for American economy. The government denied bailout request. Dow was down at 777 points. You’d think triple seven would be a lucky number but it is not the case today. I tried to check my retirement account online but the website was down. I hope–keeping my fingers crossed–I won’t lose that much money.
What do I want to do with my life? I do not like my job but I cannot leave. I need the money. The money that I make is not bad ($63,750 + 20% yearly bonus= around $80,000/year). I wish my husband made that much. He makes $32,000/year. He loves his job so much. He is comfortable with what he is doing and I do no want him to sacrifice that. I make more than he does but I am not happy at my job. All I want is to do what I enjoy most and be happy with that. Or why can’t I be happy at my current job? Am I too picky?
What a tiring day today.
I started my day waking up at 8.30AM. I had a 9.10AM class at the local Catholic church followed by mass at 10 – 11AM. Then I stopped by at the church’s bookstore to get some new books.
My husband and I did laundry as soon as we got home. It took us an hour to finish.
The fun part of the day was when we went to take a short cruise at the ocean. Just me and my husband. It was about an hour and fifteen minutes long. Never done this cruise before so we had fun. And then we had a nice lunch together at a restaurant in front of the marina. We overspent by $14!!!!!!!!! Budget was $40. But it was worth it. I had leftover I brought home for lunch tomorrow. My husband and I walked around the surrounding area close to the marina. It was a nice day today. I saw an Italian gelato shop and I couldn’t resist to try. I had a Banana and Vanilla gelato ($4.20). Yum. I shared it with my husband. He didn’t like it much–too sweet he said. I liked it.
The weekend is almost over. Tomorrow is Monday already. I can say this week went pretty fast but I enjoyed it. I am looking forward to another busy and fun week!!!
Lastly, this is kind of random, I want to say that I am in love with my husband all over again. I am soooo glad I married him. Can’t imagine my life without him. I am so thankful for him in my life. He is one of the best things happened in my life. I will cherish the rest of my life with him.
I decided to change some things around on my blog. I added several measuring tools for my financial goals and changed the theme. As you can see on the side bar on the right hand side, I have added financial categories I’d like to achieve and eliminate: emergency fund, regular saving, house renovation fund, baby fund, retirement saving, and CC debts to eliminate. I could have lumped everything together into one or maybe 2 categories if I wanted to–emergency saving and other savings (baby saving, home improvement, vacation, etc).
The amount of money we save as of today is not much yet but I am hoping as we go along, we’ll be able to increase it. I tend to always spend my money so saving can be a challenge for me I have to admit. My husband is a frugal person and I am thankful for that. He hardly spend his money on anything. He gives me a big chunk of his pay to me to help pay the bills and to save. I realized I can’t spend money like there is no tomorrow. I realized that we have to start saving for the future since no one knows what the future brings. With the economy the way it is right now, money is getting harder to get.
I am so glad my husband will start his part-time job soon (in October). He should be able to bring in extra $400 – 600 a month from this part-time job. I plan on sending all those to our saving accounts. I know we have some CC debts, and call me crazy, but I would feel better if we have a big chunk of savings sitting in the bank right now. Some people might say our priorities are wrong but I want to have that peace of mind knowing that we have a sizeable emergency fund in case we need it. I’ve heard of many horror stories where families didn’t have any savings at all and they struggled to go on with their life. I don’t want that. I want to make sure my husband and I have savings in the bank. Especially I am living here by myself–no immediate families around– so I am forced to be as independent as possible. Should anything happen to me , I don’t want my husband to struggle either. I want him to have that financial peace of mind.
We plan on paying off our CC debts of course. If things going the way they are going right now, we should be able to pay off our debts by the end of 2009. If the economy was better, ok I am not shifting blames here, I would probably chose to pay debts aggressively rather than to send most of money sitting at the bank. But with the bad economy, I think it would be smart for us to have as much savings as possible. As long as we have our jobs, we’d be able to pay our CC debts. But if we lose our jobs and have no savings, well… that would spell troubles all around. Not a situation I want to be in.
I have to admit that there are times when I feel like what I do is nothing but to spend money. Then I regret it. Then I tell myself, there’ll be tomorrow to make it up. This is bad. It becomes a circle. This is why I get in debts. I do not want to be a spender. I want to be a saver and it is so damn hard sometimes. I guess if we were all savers, then malls wouldn’t exist. And the economy would collapse. I think we need another round of economic stimulus checks distribution. LOL. I can’t even remember what we did with ours–the one we received few months back. Initially, we had planned to save it. But then I think something came up and we had to use it.
Right now, I am dying to see our Emergency fund to grow to $5000. We use Emigrant Direct to save for this purpose. We also have one saving account with local credit union that we just started yesterday and we only have $195 in this account as of today. After we pay our bills, I’ll try to see if I can increase our new saving account to $500. Then, as soon as we hit the $5000 mark on our EF, I’ll pad our regular saving account to $1000. It’ll be a slow process but we’ll try our best. I am thinking with my husband’s part-time job, this shouldn’t be hard to achieve. Hopefully by the end of the year, we’ll be able to increase our EF to $5000 and our regular saving to $1000. If we can have more that’s good of course.
Ok. I think that’s all for now. My husband is watching his college team’s football team playing on TV. It’s half time now. I am hungry so I will fix myself something to eat soon.
